I've journaled many pages to date. I think I began in earnest with following The Artist's Way ( see my Inspired by Other Media section ). I wrote whatever was on my mind, without editing, for three pages or half an hour every morning. I found that after doing that for awhile, I had less "on my mind" that was upsetting/confusing/depressing me, and - because I still had two more pages to write - I'd keep writing, but my words would change into gratitude, prayer and affirmations. When my mind was no longer turning in circles around the same issue, there was room for something else inside me to be written! This was an amazing discovery : nature abhors a vacuum, and when there was a space, my natural essence had a place to be heard!
I suggested to my, then pre-teen, daughter to journal all her anger and frustrations. I don't know how long she kept it up, but she was always in a better state of mind after journaling. I bought her a journal from our local book store, that was set up specifically for girls. It had questions at the top of the page "What is my favourite thing to do?" "Why do I like my best friend?" and other reflective suggestions. I know her writing about these ideas gave her a strong sense of herself, her priorities, and her values. She had an idea of who she was because she knew what she wanted, what she liked, where she wanted to be in ten years. This gave her clarity which led her to making decisions, as a teenager, with a good sense of whether a choice would benefit her or take her further from her path. She was responsible for her success and her well-being and her peer's choices held less weight in influencing her. I always suggest this activity to moms of pre-teen girls. It's invaluable!
Now, I have adult friends who are asking "What's going on that I can't seem to achieve what I want?" I suggest they journal, and they reply that they try but nothing happens. I journal off and on depending if I have something "on the go" - something I'm trying to work out for myself. Weeks can go by without journaling anything. What I've begun to realize is that journaling for me, is about giving voice to something that I have been unaware of, which gives me more information to be able to make different choices. It seems that my writing gives me access to beliefs and perspectives that have been unspoken until that moment of journaling. My writing is usually about trying to understand what is keeping me from something I desire to have : success, income, love - the usual!!
I start by feeling in my body, my sensations - what it feels like to be in this place of being "stuck". The other day it was "I feel like I'm in a fog about my money." It seems that the body sensations are best explained in metaphor. My experience has shown me that these sensations are from my past, mostly my childhood. This is before my ability to be articulate and verbalize how I was feeling emotionally and what was making me afraid. "....it was like wading in jello; I felt like the ground was crumbling from underneath my feet; I felt like I was going to be swallowed up and disappear." That is what I journal about - my sensations, my feelings - and explore them more deeply. I follow the metaphor and it leads to more aspects of that "nugget" of my pre-verbal choice/belief, being uncovered. Often our use of language and phrases comes up. What followed the fog image was that my money is "out of my hands"! That was something I want to make a new choice about! That is when affirmations come into play and I work at establishing a new perspective and belief.
I have discovered that choices I made were based on the limited information from my childhood experiences, which equals a lot of misinformation! I had only my limited perspective on the world, and made a lot of assumptions based on what I saw, heard and felt in my family relationships. Yet these early choice/beliefs have influenced my perspective about my relationship to life, my whole life!
What I tell my friends is "Ask yourself that question and write what comes to mind - that answer lies within you. I'd like to give you the answer, but I can't reach in there and find it! If you can see yourself in a situation, write as if you were watching a movie and making notes - don't worry about grammar and punctuation! You're not writing a story as much as you are witnessing your story." As a child these experiences are just that - experienced! There are no words at the time of the experience, but now we can record that experience and have a chance to look at it differently and make new choices.
Lately, in February, I was asking the question "What is making me so afraid of creating my art?" during a weekend seminar, of a year long program I am enrolled in. I had a sensation of this hovering predatory presence, overlooking my every move. I was very afraid that it would eat me. Where did this come from? It was attached to my fear of creating my artwork, which made no sense to me and was something I have been struggling with for years - "Why can't I be successful as an artist?" I continued to journal over the weekend and afterward I suddenly made the connection! My dad died when I was seven years old. It seemed that my full-of-life-and-laughter Daddy had been swallowed up by this unknown force, called "death". No one could prevent it. It was so powerful it could take away my dad, who was bigger-than-life to me. When I began drawing, I would often have the sensation of a "spiritual" presence - larger than me - working through me. I think that I made the connection between "all-powerful-death" and the "larger than me presence" to be the same thing. I had developed a strong connection to my idea of a benevolent and loving God, and yet lived in an overwhelming fear of annihilation.
By following my image of the hovering presence, I was slowly able to uncover the contrasting ideas that have plagued my creative life. The first time I had an inkling of this hovering presence was when we went to Italy in 2009 - I was overwhelmed by the huge statues on the tops of buildings, looking down upon the people like judges, or "God". I think that was when I first began to articulate this belief from childhood.
That led to other uncovering - I wrote November 2010, about feeling "like a fairy trapped in an overturned glass jar, held down by a big, hairy ogre" - to which my friend asked "So where are you being a big, hairy ogre to yourself?" That was a jaw-dropper!!! But also a stepping stone placed on my path by journaling - to discovering a deeper belief that had even more influence on my life - I had this powerful, controlling menace, which kept me from being myself, and having what I want. Success would always be taken from me.
Now, in February, once discovered/uncovered, I could see that I made a choice based on misinformation. I am now free to see that fear is not related to my creativity, to being successful, or to being recognized. Being successful and recognized no longer means that the next step is annihilation! That fear is from my past, and not from today.
I suggested to my, then pre-teen, daughter to journal all her anger and frustrations. I don't know how long she kept it up, but she was always in a better state of mind after journaling. I bought her a journal from our local book store, that was set up specifically for girls. It had questions at the top of the page "What is my favourite thing to do?" "Why do I like my best friend?" and other reflective suggestions. I know her writing about these ideas gave her a strong sense of herself, her priorities, and her values. She had an idea of who she was because she knew what she wanted, what she liked, where she wanted to be in ten years. This gave her clarity which led her to making decisions, as a teenager, with a good sense of whether a choice would benefit her or take her further from her path. She was responsible for her success and her well-being and her peer's choices held less weight in influencing her. I always suggest this activity to moms of pre-teen girls. It's invaluable!
Now, I have adult friends who are asking "What's going on that I can't seem to achieve what I want?" I suggest they journal, and they reply that they try but nothing happens. I journal off and on depending if I have something "on the go" - something I'm trying to work out for myself. Weeks can go by without journaling anything. What I've begun to realize is that journaling for me, is about giving voice to something that I have been unaware of, which gives me more information to be able to make different choices. It seems that my writing gives me access to beliefs and perspectives that have been unspoken until that moment of journaling. My writing is usually about trying to understand what is keeping me from something I desire to have : success, income, love - the usual!!
I start by feeling in my body, my sensations - what it feels like to be in this place of being "stuck". The other day it was "I feel like I'm in a fog about my money." It seems that the body sensations are best explained in metaphor. My experience has shown me that these sensations are from my past, mostly my childhood. This is before my ability to be articulate and verbalize how I was feeling emotionally and what was making me afraid. "....it was like wading in jello; I felt like the ground was crumbling from underneath my feet; I felt like I was going to be swallowed up and disappear." That is what I journal about - my sensations, my feelings - and explore them more deeply. I follow the metaphor and it leads to more aspects of that "nugget" of my pre-verbal choice/belief, being uncovered. Often our use of language and phrases comes up. What followed the fog image was that my money is "out of my hands"! That was something I want to make a new choice about! That is when affirmations come into play and I work at establishing a new perspective and belief.
I have discovered that choices I made were based on the limited information from my childhood experiences, which equals a lot of misinformation! I had only my limited perspective on the world, and made a lot of assumptions based on what I saw, heard and felt in my family relationships. Yet these early choice/beliefs have influenced my perspective about my relationship to life, my whole life!
What I tell my friends is "Ask yourself that question and write what comes to mind - that answer lies within you. I'd like to give you the answer, but I can't reach in there and find it! If you can see yourself in a situation, write as if you were watching a movie and making notes - don't worry about grammar and punctuation! You're not writing a story as much as you are witnessing your story." As a child these experiences are just that - experienced! There are no words at the time of the experience, but now we can record that experience and have a chance to look at it differently and make new choices.
Lately, in February, I was asking the question "What is making me so afraid of creating my art?" during a weekend seminar, of a year long program I am enrolled in. I had a sensation of this hovering predatory presence, overlooking my every move. I was very afraid that it would eat me. Where did this come from? It was attached to my fear of creating my artwork, which made no sense to me and was something I have been struggling with for years - "Why can't I be successful as an artist?" I continued to journal over the weekend and afterward I suddenly made the connection! My dad died when I was seven years old. It seemed that my full-of-life-and-laughter Daddy had been swallowed up by this unknown force, called "death". No one could prevent it. It was so powerful it could take away my dad, who was bigger-than-life to me. When I began drawing, I would often have the sensation of a "spiritual" presence - larger than me - working through me. I think that I made the connection between "all-powerful-death" and the "larger than me presence" to be the same thing. I had developed a strong connection to my idea of a benevolent and loving God, and yet lived in an overwhelming fear of annihilation.
By following my image of the hovering presence, I was slowly able to uncover the contrasting ideas that have plagued my creative life. The first time I had an inkling of this hovering presence was when we went to Italy in 2009 - I was overwhelmed by the huge statues on the tops of buildings, looking down upon the people like judges, or "God". I think that was when I first began to articulate this belief from childhood.
That led to other uncovering - I wrote November 2010, about feeling "like a fairy trapped in an overturned glass jar, held down by a big, hairy ogre" - to which my friend asked "So where are you being a big, hairy ogre to yourself?" That was a jaw-dropper!!! But also a stepping stone placed on my path by journaling - to discovering a deeper belief that had even more influence on my life - I had this powerful, controlling menace, which kept me from being myself, and having what I want. Success would always be taken from me.
Now, in February, once discovered/uncovered, I could see that I made a choice based on misinformation. I am now free to see that fear is not related to my creativity, to being successful, or to being recognized. Being successful and recognized no longer means that the next step is annihilation! That fear is from my past, and not from today.
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