Just a little taste of the bit of chaos surrounding me at my desk in my studio (otherwise known as the "little bedroom").

I finished another painting!!! Yay!!!! I had a painter's "block" for more than about five years, in which I started a number of paintings but was unable to finish them. I want to submit three paintings to the jury for the Sidney Art Show in the fall, and after the last time I submitted three paintings which were not accepted, I decided to change my tactic and submit art that I make and not art that I think I should make! I finished my first painting in years, last year - The Maiden - based on my research into the "Handless Maiden" folktale ( see "Inspired by...."). That was such a satisfying experience!! This year, I decided to finish two other paintings that I had started a number of years ago, to submit to the art show in the fall. This is the first one and you can see it as the last image under the "Symbolism and Spirituality" set of images in the artworks gallery.

I wanted to start with an image of a woman in an owl mask. I don't know why, just that I am drawn to birds, as you can see from my artwork, and the theatre - so my image was a logical choice! I developed this painting on the canvas, as I have done with many paintings. First came the woman in the mask, then the curtains to the side and the trees on the right. Then the stage floor in its checkerboard pattern. I had a doorway come to mind, as if that is where she is running too, like Cinderella and the stroke of midnight! That appeared on the left of the stage, in a state of materialization - partly there, partly disappearing. I spread the checkerboard pattern toward the horizon, and it dissipated into a field in the distance, with a hill that has trees at its base where the field ends, and a night time ocean with the waves reflecting the moonlight above. I continued to develop these images into more detail.

The space between the costumed woman and the doorway needed something, and I guess I was influenced by the checkerboard - like it was a chess board, and I've always loved the "rook" because it is often represented by a castle tower - a miniature building!! So I began painting the tower, and it continued to develop into a lone tower on the precipice above the wave swept ocean. It is as if it is appearing from another dimension or space/time. Maybe it's a connection to the ocean in the background, like a close-up detail of the background.

For the longest time, the painting remained like this, but of course there was the left hand corner standing empty. I had a sense of a "watcher" looking down upon the masked woman. I painted in the tower topped by a "watcher" but it was the wrong perspective - it was from the side, and it appeared like he was sitting in a box at the theatre. I realized that I had to be looking upward at this character, so I angled the tower and painted if as if from below. The "watcher" appears here as a wolf, in a soldier's uniform - my guess is that he is more than that, maybe another authority figure. So, it is also connected to the tower, as if it is a close up of him standing on top of that particular tower, which is appearing from another dimension or space/time - like he is seeing her and her unauthorized activities, as she runs to return from her journey into our world.

She's looking at us, the audience, with a startled look, as if she wasn't aware we were there until she ran on stage to catch her "exit"! At the bottom of the painting, on which the stage stands, is an image of the swirling galaxies of outer space. It's Shakespeare all over again!

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts..."

Ever since I was a kid I've loved.......toys!! Well, of course, you say "What kid doesn't like toys?" The problem is that even as an adult I'd dream about toys. What well-respected adult admits that? Finally, after so many years of my guilty secret, I broke down and decided that I'd start to collect toys.....for my future grandchildren! I needed some excuse! So, I went to the local second hand shops and see what they had: I then began to think of archetypes - I needed heroes, villains, fairytale and storybook characters, animal friends and props. I also found miniature village scene props at Christmas - bridges, sundials, and gazebos! Hey, then I discovered aquarium scenes - Greek columns, archways, hollow stumps and temples! So began my storytelling - by going through my collection, I'd pick out characters and props that "called to me" at that moment. I set up my table in my studio with a cloth draped over top of small boxes for a landscape. Then I would just begin telling the story - out loud to myself. It is pretty hilarious, but at this point I'd lost all idea of "dignity" because wasn't I an adult playing with toys? I'd start with the main characters, tell their story and how they met the following characters, where they went and what they did.......pretty simple. Loads of fun! Then I'd write the story down while it was fresh in my mind. It always amazed me how my story would start, without any end in mind, and continue on through a challenge to come to a unique and perfect solution with a happy ending! The story would just meander along until the end, coming together like a perfect puzzle without any effort on my part! There's a lesson in there somewhere!

I had explored this urge before. I began collecting archetype images from the internet - isn't is a wonderful tool when you can type in "gate" on Google images and thousands of images come up? Of course, there is copyright, but I used these images for reference photos, so none of my personal images resulted in a direct copy of someone else's photo. I made 5"x 7" cards, and would lay them out the same way as above : which image "called to me"? But I didn't actually get around to the story telling part. I just loved the images!

Before any of this happened, I'd play with my daughter when she was little, and we'd tell stories with her toys. It was natural and effortless. She had a fairytale felt board and also a fairytale stamp collection, which of course were "archetypes" and I would do the same thing : pick a character and tell the story as it went along on its own volition. One night, with my present husband, he said "Tell me a story" and I proceeded to verbally relate a story that was playing out in my mind like a movie. It was an amazing story of transformation, involving a wolf and a maiden. I understood the symbolism of the story, later. It was a lovely idea and I will share it here another day.

So my moral of this story is - don't be embarrassed about unexplainable, innocent urges! These are our creative muse trying to communicate to ourselves and the world about the natural healing character of our deepest self. We can heal ourselves and our communities when we nurture and listen to this limitless well of wisdom and love.