I've had two weeks vacation, and I've been busy! My husband Michael, and I, don't often go away, and this was the usual "vacation/staycation". There is so much to do here in Victoria and its surrounding area. We discovered a new park for us - Portage Park, a lovely cove with an island in the centre. We visited Glendale Gardens, a horticultural garden five minutes up the road from us! We went to Galiano Island for two days, and stayed at the Driftwood Village - a great place with our own cabin. We drove up the island to see pottery, ceramics and glass artists. We watched one of the hockey play-off games at the Hummingbird Inn Pub. I shopped and met the lovely owner of Gallery 33 and bought a unique silver bracelet at Now and Zen.

I then had my weekend away at my business and personal development seminar. I was totally immersed in such a nurturing and supportive space there, gaining clarity, and spending social time with my team of women as we walked around Kelowna's lakeside.

When I came home, Michael and I also went to Pacific Northwest Raptors outside of  Duncan, where we had a half day training with the birds. Michael held Tuori, a Harris Hawk, on his glove and I held Elton, a Spectacled Owl from Panama. I love the Harris Hawks and they are well known for their cooperative behaviour with humans because they are flock raptors, unlike most solitary raptors - they naturally like being in relationship with others. Elton surprised me, though. I hadn't much connection with him during the tour (we took a tour in February and saw the demonstration, as well as a personal tour this time). When he stepped up onto my glove and sat with me, he was a very curious and vocal fellow. Then our guide, Jamie, showed me how Elton liked to have the feathers at the top of his beak scratched! Well, he was such a sweetheart - he'd lean forward into my hand as I scratched him, and close his big eyes, shutting his soft gray eyelids so I could see his little eyelashes! When I stopped scratching, he'd slowly open his eyes, still leaning forward, as if just "coming to" from a deep meditation! Who wouldn't be charmed by such a dear little fellow! I loved the energy of being with him, just like any animal will center my energy. We took Elton down to the demonstration area, and took turns feeding him, as he flew to us from his perch. Then we watched the demonstration, which had Tuori, a vulture, a barn owl, and a Peregrine Falcon flying to the trainer. After that we had our guide, Bronwyn, take us on a Hawk Walk, where she let another Harris Hawk, Annakan, fly out among the trees, and had him fly back to our gloves during our walk.

The point of my relating this snapshot of my vacation, is that among these excursions, we worked at my mom's garden and removed stuff to the local dump, cleaned our house and did errands. These things, though accomplishing them, bring up feelings in me of inadequacy. It is never ending!! I never seem to be finished in the garden, that's a given with the growing season going full tilt! Yet it is like housework - whatever I accomplish, in a week it is back where I started! I can become very distracted with this aspect - feeling less-than in the face of monstrous blackberry bushes!

What I realized is that being on Galiano, just doing what we felt like, being at my seminar course on the weekend, being with my friends, being with the wild(ish) birds, being in nature, are all supportive of my Being: being in the present moment/fulfilled. Whereas all the "chores", errands, needs, can distract me into feeling "not enough". I feel drained of energy, though I am accomplishing "things". It's being caught up in the doing of stuff, and not Being. I felt like after my seminar weekend, where I felt like a big, still, clear lake, I was being drained of all that self-contained energy by leaks streaming into the never-ending, always needing attention, world. This is not the world I want to create, it is not My World. I am being at the effect and not the Cause in this world. It brings me back to the book "Inner Simplicity" by Elaine St. James, which I blogged about earlier (under "Simplicity"). Yes, the world needs attending to, I just need to be aware of maintaining my balance in myself, being centered regardless of my circumstance or distractions.

I have a routine during my work week, which I related in my blog "Simplicity", that takes time to "be" - art, nature, swimming on my breaks. On vacation/staycation, I always plan for time for similar activities - such as the visit to the raptor center and going to Galiano - beside doing "chores" that need attending to. This time, even more, I realized that spending time "being" is also nurturing the creation of my artwork. "Being" is where I paint from - it's not a "doing" activity! I didn't create as much art as I hoped to, this "staycation", but I don't have the desire to be rigid about my creativity either. I'm glad I did what we did these last two weeks. I also gained, even more clearly, the recognition of how important taking deliberate time for myself to BE: to center myself, to BE where I am and not be distracted, to reflect, to plan, to meditate and pray, to appreciate, to repeat my affirmations, to play, to be aware of my actions, to be in nature, enables me to maintain my balance and creativity.

So, I'm reading another book! When I was at Opus I picked up Chris Tyrell's "Making it! Case studies of Successful Canadian Visual Artists". http://christyrell.ca/books. I read his "Artist Survival Skills" and I'll need to read that one again. This book is an easy read because it's so informative and inspiring! It tells the stories of artists through Chris' interviews - they talk about using the internet, websites, Etsy, online marketing, having corporate sponsorship, reproduction rights, connections through art organizations, and more! I was really struck with inspiration by two artists in particular - Jude Griebel http://judegriebel.com/ for his rich experience from around the world, but also for his artwork! I struggle with "classifying" my genre, and I felt his images were similar. It was really exciting to see his work and so much success in this genre. Also Marina Bychkova http://www.enchanteddoll.com/ for her amazing art dolls or bjd (ball jointed doll). I am totally in love with her dolls and the images she creates with them - storybook, fantasy, and conceptual. She has over the top talent and is paid very well for her creations - as she should be!!! She inspires my desire to create my miniature theatre scenes.

I see that though I have known my art has been about my story, I now realize that I can create artwork exploring my literal experience and not just my symbolic imagery of my journey. I sense that this more personal, and less archetype/fairytale artwork, could reach others who are presently struggling with the same loss and grief I experienced and from which I created my life in response to. Now I am more at a distance from the overwhelming emotions so I see it more objectively and can describe it in a way that I couldn't when I was in the middle of it. This artwork can be more powerful and healing because it is even more authentic and honest about my story. My artworks could contribute to an organization that I connect with, due to my personal story.

My artwork can be beautiful and meaningful, but also a doorway to create more connections in my community, to support my neighbours through our community's organizations. This is an even greater service for my artwork.

I finished another painting!!! Yay!!!! I had a painter's "block" for more than about five years, in which I started a number of paintings but was unable to finish them. I want to submit three paintings to the jury for the Sidney Art Show in the fall, and after the last time I submitted three paintings which were not accepted, I decided to change my tactic and submit art that I make and not art that I think I should make! I finished my first painting in years, last year - The Maiden - based on my research into the "Handless Maiden" folktale ( see "Inspired by...."). That was such a satisfying experience!! This year, I decided to finish two other paintings that I had started a number of years ago, to submit to the art show in the fall. This is the first one and you can see it as the last image under the "Symbolism and Spirituality" set of images in the artworks gallery.

I wanted to start with an image of a woman in an owl mask. I don't know why, just that I am drawn to birds, as you can see from my artwork, and the theatre - so my image was a logical choice! I developed this painting on the canvas, as I have done with many paintings. First came the woman in the mask, then the curtains to the side and the trees on the right. Then the stage floor in its checkerboard pattern. I had a doorway come to mind, as if that is where she is running too, like Cinderella and the stroke of midnight! That appeared on the left of the stage, in a state of materialization - partly there, partly disappearing. I spread the checkerboard pattern toward the horizon, and it dissipated into a field in the distance, with a hill that has trees at its base where the field ends, and a night time ocean with the waves reflecting the moonlight above. I continued to develop these images into more detail.

The space between the costumed woman and the doorway needed something, and I guess I was influenced by the checkerboard - like it was a chess board, and I've always loved the "rook" because it is often represented by a castle tower - a miniature building!! So I began painting the tower, and it continued to develop into a lone tower on the precipice above the wave swept ocean. It is as if it is appearing from another dimension or space/time. Maybe it's a connection to the ocean in the background, like a close-up detail of the background.

For the longest time, the painting remained like this, but of course there was the left hand corner standing empty. I had a sense of a "watcher" looking down upon the masked woman. I painted in the tower topped by a "watcher" but it was the wrong perspective - it was from the side, and it appeared like he was sitting in a box at the theatre. I realized that I had to be looking upward at this character, so I angled the tower and painted if as if from below. The "watcher" appears here as a wolf, in a soldier's uniform - my guess is that he is more than that, maybe another authority figure. So, it is also connected to the tower, as if it is a close up of him standing on top of that particular tower, which is appearing from another dimension or space/time - like he is seeing her and her unauthorized activities, as she runs to return from her journey into our world.

She's looking at us, the audience, with a startled look, as if she wasn't aware we were there until she ran on stage to catch her "exit"! At the bottom of the painting, on which the stage stands, is an image of the swirling galaxies of outer space. It's Shakespeare all over again!

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts..."